A lot of people ask me "how can I get my ex back after cheating?" And then there are many people who will be angry with me for even answering this question with anything but scorn, because in our society, few things are seen as less corrupt than cheating.
No one likes to be cheated on, yet cheating is so prevalent in our society. For that reason, I choose not to judge those who have cheated, because with so many cheaters out there, many of them are bound to be genuine good people. If you cheated on your ex, but you still want to get them back... then doesn't that show that you really care about them and weren't trying to hurt them?
That's my take on it, anyway. Everyone should be allowed to have their own opinion, but I just want to let you know that there is no judgement here.
So... let's answer the question.
How Can You Get Your Ex Back After Cheating?
This is somewhat of a complicated issue, so let me break it down into "steps" so that it's a bit easier to digest.
Step #1: Understand What Usually Happens, and Why You Need to Avoid This DANGEROUS Trap
What usually happens after someone cheats is one of two things: either the cheater is never able to make their ex forgive them, and they both eventually move on, or the ex uses seperation as a way to "punish" the cheater for a while, but then eventually accepts an apology and gets back together.
You don't want either of these to happen. Even in the cases where an ex "tolerates" a cheater, they rarely ever fully forgive the cheater and will always have their eyes open for revenge opportunities like cheating back, flirting with others constantly, or just being generally rude for the remainder of the relationship.
What you need to do is avoid this scenario altogether. Getting your ex back isn't good enough. You need to not only get them back, but you need to "psychologically train" your ex to truly get over what you did and make sure they treat you with respect, or your relationship will only end again due to a vicious cycle.
There is only one way to accomplish this that I know of, which I will get into a bit later.
Step #2: You Must Be Prepared For and Accept What Is to Come
This will be an uphill battle, because cheating is such a taboo thing. Your ex will be fighting with their emotions on this one, and as such, their inner self will be in turmoil and will probably lash out.
Still, there are simple things that you can do to make the make up process much more simple. Ever notice how many couples break up, and then get back together again, even when someone did something horrible? Sometimes even worse than cheating?
I'm going to tell you how you can control that process and make sure it happens with you.
Step #3: You Need to Keep Your Distance... for a While
If you don't understand why this step is vital, then perhaps you should read another article of mine first and come back: the no contact rule (link opens in a new window so you can come back and finish this article).
But basically, keeping your distance accomplishes two things for you:
Firstly, your ex will be upset, and will want to use you as their "punching bag" to get their feelings out. You absolutely CANNOT let this happen, for it is habit forming behavior (from a psychological standpoint) and if your ex gets used to punishing you for cheating on them now, they will do it forever and never let go.
Secondly, after you've cheated, you yourself are no doubt feeling vulnerable and regretful. We never make our best decisions when we are overly emotional, so you yourself need some time to cool your engines so you can follow the rest of the steps I'm going to give you.
Careful, though. This is a decliate situation. You don't want your ex to think that you're just some jerk who cheated on them and don't care. In this case you're going to want to TELL them that you're going to give them some space (note: I don't normally recommend this, only in the case where you cheated).
I recommend that you make it clear to your ex that you still care about them, that they're special to you (this is important), that you're sorry, and all of that good stuff. Then, tell them that at this moment, you're not in the place to be with them in the same way, and let them know that you're going to give them some space for a while. Do not, under any circumstances, make any excuses for your cheating!
This is very powerful for a few psychological reasons. I won't go into detail here, but keep reading.
Step #4: Formulate Your Plan to Get Your Ex Back
The easiest way that I know of to get your ex back after cheating is to use a specific plan based on psychological techniques.
Don't worry, you have help. I know that sounds sort of daunting if you are not already some sort of brainy psychologist, but no degrees are required here. There's actually a great step by step plan that I highly recommend.
The plan to get your ex back is different depending on whether you're a man or a woman, though. To learn more about the plan to get your ex back after cheating, click the button in the box below.
Come on in and become a part of the FREE Get Ex Back Club, and I'll do everything in my power to make sure that you get back with your ex. Just click the obnoxious button below to join:
P.S. Don't over complicate this. Yes, you cheated. But don't people get back together all the time? Who's to say that cheating has to mean the end of a relationship? Don't be deceived by society; human emotions are very powerful. If you can make your ex feel powerful emotions that make them want to be with you again, then they will be compelled to be together. Love and attraction are too powerful to ignore.
I'll see you inside the Get Ex Back Club, where I'll reveal the method to get your ex back (even though you cheated!).